Tuesday 21 May 2019

Things I have Said To My Husband Today


  • I'm sure you'll be fine
  • Hundreds of men get it done every day
  • Men just like you, yes
  • Every day
  • It's just a little op
  • You're not depriving the world
  • I'm sure we'll survive without your genes
  • You don't stand out
  • You're not a ginger marvel
  • You couldn't sell it for millions
  • I just don't think anyone would buy it
  • I did get it free
  • I am lucky, yes
  • And grateful
  • It is a good product
  • Millions of women won't be protesting
  • You're very welcome to freeze some
  • I really don't think so
  • I don't think the surgeon will be intimidated
  • Well she'll have seen it all before
  • Why wouldn't it be a she?
  • Surgeons are Shes and Hes
  • They are
  • She will be able to cope
  • It won't all be too much for her
  • She won't need a hand
  • Yes she'll be used to lifting heavy objects
  • I really don't think we need to warn her
  • I'm sure she's seen plenty of ginger foxes
  • Yes ones with biceps
  • Please stop demonstrating the biceps

Wednesday 8 May 2019

Things I Have Said To My Husband Today


  • Yes, yes
  • It was a good wedding
  • Great party, yes
  • I did enjoy myself
  • Yes you were great
  • Life and soul of course
  • No, no
  • You were great
  • It's just
  • Well all that twerking
  • With dad
  • In mum's face
  • And mum joining in
  • And wiggling
  • And you all hugging
  • It is lovely that you bonded
  • I am happy that you like each other
  • Well
  • Did you have to wear dad's heels?
  • You have got lovely legs
  • Dad was jealous
  • You didn't rock the look
  • What?
  • I really don't think so
  • No shopping trips with dad