Tuesday, 19 August 2008

Things I Have Said to Myself Today

  • OK you can have one
  • Just one mind
  • One biscuit doesn't count
  • Not if you have it for breakfast
  • Hmm how many calories?
  • Let's see
  • 117?
  • Ah
  • Well then, being as it's breakfast
  • 117...x3...300 calories allowed
  • I can have three
  • Goody
  • If I break a bit off each biscuit that'll make them about 100 calories
  • There
  • Yum
  • I suppose I might as well eat the broken off bits
  • They're only about 17 calories
  • That one looks quite small, it's probably only about 10
  • No one else will want them anyway
  • Today I will be a better mummy
  • I will not shout
  • Unless the situation warrants it
  • No, I will not shout at all
  • Or get them to do things by saying that Daddy will be cross
  • Or by pretending to give the dog away to the neighbours
  • I must apologise to the neighbours
  • Perhaps five times in one day was too much
  • They're probably sick of the dog
  • OK, I will not give the dog away
  • Or say that Santa phoned and he was very disappointed
  • I will not take Jack to creche with a dirty nappy
  • It is nice that they do it though
  • But £2.50 an hour to change a nappy is a bit steep
  • OK, I will take Jack to creche but I will do a work out while he's there
  • Not sit in the cafe
  • Eating the soft cookies
  • Ooh, soft cookies
  • I wonder if they'll have the double chocolate ones today
  • One won't count
  • Not if I have it for lunch

16 comments:

A Confused Take That Fan said...

Mmm, soft cookies. You're making me hungry...
As for pretending Santa called, I am definitely going to steal that one!

Jolly Good Yarn Girl said...

My nine year old still buys the "right I'm phoning Santa" line. Later, when he's nineteen I can get the same effect by saying that I'll tell his girlfriend that he bought that line until he was fifteen...it has mileage I'm sure.
JGYG x

Potty Mummy said...

Did you know that if a biscuit is broken the calories all leak out and drain away? (I've got more where that one came from too...)

Mud in the City said...

Best off having a cookie with dark chocolate bits in it - very good for the heart they say. That's almost the same as a workout anyway!

Elsie Button said...

ha i've been tempted to take betty to nursery with a dirty nappy too!

another one... the robin watches children all year round and reports back to santa...

valley girl said...

Loved the creche/nappy confession -I've done the same with the gym creche...and have definitely turned up to nursery claiming 'he did in the car on the way here'.

Grit said...

i like your reasoning! i have just done much the same with a packet of crisps and now feel slightly sick.

Millennium Housewife said...

Take That Fan, they're yummy...

JGYG, that was LOL

PM more please...

Mud, You're right! Perhaps I could suggest dark chocolate eating as a studio class?

Elsie, a kindred spirit, welcome

VG another kindred spirit, perhaps we could start a club?

Grit, hoped you weren't actually sick, what a waste of crisps.

Mom de Plume said...

mmmmm yummy, soft cookies. I made the mistake of baking brownies yesterday as we had some friends round. I fixed the mistake, however, by sending my guests home with a box of those fatal brownies... I kept some, though. Just in case. I will be sure to break them in half before I eat them, thanks PM.

Ernest de Cugnac said...

v funny mh. I never minded changing my girls' nappies, but I think I'd want more than £2.50 to change someone else's.

Irene said...

It's a lovely commentary you have in your head. I have a similar one about pudding with berry sauce that I claim not to want to eat every day, but just one more for old time's sake.

HER ON THE HILL said...

I WILL NOT SHOUT!!!!!

Work out? God, MH, who are you trying to kid...?

HER ON THE HILL said...

PS: click on the 'playlist' box on the bottom right hand side of my blog and it should give you the chance to create your own.

http://reluctantmemsahib.wordpress.com said...

oh i love this. here's another tip: break bits off all the biscuits in the tin and eat those. they don't count: they're not whole biscutis. they're only bits of biscuits. as in: all I've eaten today is a bit of biscuit(s, silent s, naturally).

Frog in the Field said...

Snigger!

Millennium Housewife said...

MDP, yep, only half the calories, you can eat double

Earnest, me too, nursery nurse was never my calling

Irene, I've used the old times sake thing too many times, about nearly everything!

HOTH, I do actually work out, it's my only swotty thing I swear, and I have loads of vices to cancel it out

Mamsahib, I have duly only eaten a bit of brownie today, can we help it is ten brownies crumbled themselves overnight?

Frogy! Welcome back, coming over to yours