Things I Have Said To My Parents Today (Lockdown Special)

• Hello?
• Morning!
• Mum?
• It's me
• Press the FaceTime button
• The FaceTime button
• Then we can see each other
• Well done
• Oh good lord
• Put some clothes on
• I don't care if it's as God intended
• You didn't have to answer
• I would have waited
• Or called back
• You don't need to get dad
• Hi dad
• Oh good lord
• Put some clothes on
• Can you at least sit down
• Because I can see you
• You're on the screen
• My phone screen
• Scratching
• I can tell it's a rash
• Turning your back doesn't mean I can't see
• I am glad you've found your pants
• They are nice yes
• Perhaps you could put them on
• Oh good lord
• Mum doesn't need to help
• I know your knee's stiff
• Couldn't she put hers on first
• I'm glad you've got a routine
• I will be grateful when I'm old
• I'll call you back