Wednesday, 21 May 2008

Things I have said to my four year old today

  • It's broccoli
  • You do like it you have it nearly every day
  • It's always been green
  • And stalky
  • I'll give you an ice cream if you eat your broccoli
  • Absolutely I promise
  • No I won't buy the green kind again
  • I don't think the shop sells pink broccoli but I'll give it a go
  • Good now eat your broccoli
  • Leave Mummy's tummy alone please
  • It is not all nice and squishy
  • It's not it's toned and tight
  • Stop bouncing teddy on it please
  • No you can't dress yourself today
  • Because we're in a hurry
  • Arm in please
  • And other arm
  • It's upside down
  • Yes I am a bit silly let's start again
  • Arm in please
  • Other arm
  • It doesn't matter it looks good upside down
  • Yes you probably would have done a better job
  • Pardon?
  • Please don't say that again Isla
  • About the lady's nice big round bottom
  • I know you were being nice
  • It is lovely and big
  • Ssh about her bottom
  • If you have to talk just whisper
  • No she isn't going to have a baby
  • Can you carry the milk to the checkout please?
  • What do you mean daddy says we don't have to pay for milk?
  • I'm sure he was joking
  • Well just don't mention it to the checkout lady
  • Isla I said not to mention it
  • I know you whispered but it looks rude
  • Why don't you talk about the lady's nice big round boobs?


Anonymous said...

I love it! I have similar conversations with Mac one on Monday that went something like this "because I'm mummy and I say so"..."yes, but why are you mummy?"...."because I am"...."I'm going to be mummy tomorrow and you'll have to do everything I say"....."you won't last five minutes as mummy"....."want to bet?"

Hm, that child is growing up too fast.

Millennium Housewife said...

Nunhead! I remember my friend Ellie's mum having a sign up on the kitchen wall saying "I'm the Mummy, that's why!" It's true, no other explanation just take it. They'll understand in about 30 years.... Loving your blog by the way MH x PS Chelsea have just missed if it means anything to anyone..

Bush Mummy said...

Well done Millenium housewife.. there are hardly any 'no's' there..

Professor Robert Winston would be proud of you..


Anonymous said...

Thank you! For both the kind words and the back up!


Carolyn said...

This was completely hysterical. Great post. I love your sense of humour. And thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a hilarious comment there too. (It was about sitting outside Isla's door at 5am when she's 18 and crying very loudly for an hour just for the hell of it). Wicked. I've marked the same plan on my calendar. February 2020... here we come!

Frog in the Field said...

Bloody fantastic, you should publish a book of lists, really.

Millennium Housewife said...

Thanks Froggy, will have a think about that one. May need a few more children to supply fodder for said book. Hmm, must get down to it - pass the wine. MH

Gone Back South said...

Hello! Frog sent me here and I love that list. The part about the lady's big round bottom sounded familiar. My son is fascinated by bums, boobs, fatness and wobbly bits. We have a very large babysitter, and my 6-year old has been fully briefed not to mention her size in case he hurts her feelings. He says he tells her she's "strong". I think that's just about okay, don't you?

Jo Beaufoix said...

Hee hee, I'm over from Frogs too.
I love the bottom thing.

The broccoli bribery so reminded me of my three year old. The other day she said she didn't want broccoli to be broccoli, but that she wanted to call it cauliflower. I asked why as she doesn't like cauliflower, and she replied that she would like it if it was broccoli. Kids are weird. :D

A Confused Take That Fan said...

Frog directed me here too. Love it. My girls love my soft squishy tummy too. If only I did...

Carah Boden said...

My broccoli's usually brown - buy it, forget about it, then try and get away with it. They never fall for it. Ho hum.

Have you tried selling salmon as Barbie Fish? Works a treat.

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