Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Big Chief Little Chief


So Isla has gone off to school, all pony tails, scrumpled socks and too big hats. That was it, I thought, off she goes into the big blue yonder to make and break friends, eat inappropriate lunches and learn how to play kiss chase. They do still do that don't they? Or have Health and Safety banned it on the grounds that running is dangerous, grabbing someone is dangerous and you need written parental permission to kiss someone? If so school will never ever be as much fun as it was for me. Kiss chase was the girl's version of conkers; the tougher the nut the bigger the challenge, unless of course they had been soaked in vinegar first, that was just cheating and downright off putting.
I spent the day in nervous anticipation; would she find someone to play with/go to the toilet properly/remember her manners/find a cool boy to kiss, and arrived half an hour early to pick her up. She ran straight at me and hugged, while looking over my shoulder to see if I had bought her anything for being such a good girl. Nothing had changed then, lovely, my worries about no longer being the main influence in her life over. School was, as Husband had assured me simply a continuation of parenting, I was still the Big Chief just with a few more little Indians to delegate to, lovely, just what I wanted to hear. I love being in charge. And delegating.
We drove home, Isla puffed with excitement and words unspilled, desperate to impress on me the importance of her day.
Mummy, she said, red faced, eyes shining can we have coco pops for breakfast? Coco pops?
Whaa t? I spluttered, trying to gain composure and decorum, Isla, I said soberly Where did you hear a word like that? You can tell Mummy.
From Sophie, she replied,
Well then, I said deep breathing, whatever Sophie says, no we can't have coco pops for breakfast.
But coco pops and milk make a bowl full of fun.
Coco pops and milk? Make a what? I struggled to comprehend the world at this point and was almost (but not quite) lost for words. That infernal (but to be fair pretty catchy) jingle was about to haunt me.
A bowl full of fun, finished Isla helpfully.
Yes I got it the first time I assured Isla grimly and I'm afraid it's a no.
Still the main influence am I? School is just a continuation of parenting is it? How on Earth did I fall for that one? Oh, I know, I didn't want to home school. Right, well then better get on with exerting my still dominant influence. I took a deep breath.
Isla, I said, coco pops do not make a bowl full of fun, they make a bowl full of chocolate which is not a decent breakfast and will not give you enough energy to play kiss chase at school.
A bowl full of chocolate? She squealed well then we have to get some, I love chocolate. She then went on to inform me that Sophie's mummy had a nicer dicer from JML which will chop vegetables much better than I can. Great.
So that's it. My days of rule are over, instead I am at the mercy of other four year olds and their unique take on the world. Fabulous.
Or, I could just ban Isla from making friends with children who are allowed to watch adverts. And ban adverts myself. Yes, that's it, problem solved. From now on it's British Broadcasting Corporation all the way.


23 comments:

valley girl said...

Ah Coco-Pops -it's the thin end of the wedge of pester power. Am dreading it when the Littleboys start demanding brands - the only cereal they know about is Shreddies and Weetabix, although nursery is introducing them to the slippery slope of Rice Krispies.

Mind you if all they watch is BBC they will start wanting In the Night Garden dollies and Tweenies satchels....!

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

So am I the only one at the mercy of the horror that is Crazy Bones? "But Andrew's got them" "But Andrew takes them to school" "But Andrew says you have to have a least 20 before it's any good". I have no idea who Andrew is but I want to have a short sharp word with him!

Potty Mummy said...

And to think my job used to be marketing breakfast products to kids (shock, horror, gasp!). How could I have been so evil? Needless to say, it's c-Beebies all the way in our house. Curse those ads...

Nunhead Mum of One said...

I still can't get Mac to describe those triangle things he wants for lunch tomorrow.

Mom/Mum said...

In my day (er ok, somewhere in the 70s/80s) didn't the advert go something like, "Cocoa Pops, spinning tops, cool flavour(?), chocolate flavour, cocoa pops spinning tops!"

Anyway, I can hear the tune, just not sure I got the words right!

When I was a child I remember wanting an anorak and a red glow like the Ready Brek kid. Do they still have Ready Brek? Andis it on the list of OK breakfast foods? Or have they ruined it with excess sugar?

Am out of touch on what is deemed a healthy start for British kids. I go a particular international store that stocks imported Weetabix for mine. Over here the slogan on the box is "Britain's favourite breakfast food!"

vg - is Rice Krispies a slippery slope? Bejinkers, I have fallen all the way down that ravine then. But hey, when you go to the breakfast aisle in a US supermarket and are faced with about 250+ neon colured character laden boxes of tooth rotting brekkie choices, I am quite proud that my kids still make for the boring-looking box of Bran Flakes. For now...don't anyone dare offer them an applejack!

Millennium Housewife said...

VG it'll be rice krispie cakes next

Tara, never heard of them, but maybe in a few years....

PM, one word - Karma!

Nunhead, plump for the one you can buy rather than the one you may have to home make...


MM, can't remember that one, over here healthy is probably weetabix, but it's still banned here due to having sugar in - horrid mummy!

A Confused Take That Fan said...

MH - Weetabix banned as well? So, what do you give them?? Intrigued...
Cocopops have been requested here,and have been tried (on holiday in France, when I bought those mini variety packs in desperation) and she hated them, she's never mentioned them again. Beware the forbidden fruit! Beware Sophie!

david mcmahon said...

Battling 100 per cent jatlag at the moment, but I loved your comment on my post about `The Day That I Never Saw'.

Thank you so much - and I must tell you that I actually wrote a synopsis for my next novel aboard that flight, shortly after that beautiful sunrise above the Outback!

Jolly Good Yarn Girl said...

You get the Olympic Gold for sewing on your own name tapes. I have always done this, feeling very "grown up" the first time I did as number 1 child tottered off to nursery all those years ago. My confession is that for the first time this term I used iron ons. Wow they are quick to go on...quick to fall off....watch this space.

Eve said...

The very first day my daughter started school I was called in by the teacher after school. Detention on the first day for a five year old? I know my childers are a little feral, but ... any way she was just asking if we had a lock on our toilet door at home because she sang every time she sat on the toilet, loudly. I remember playing kiss chasy with vinegar soaked boys tho.

Millennium Housewife said...

CTTF, porrige, bix (like weetabix but no sugar fair trade etc), plum whole grain stuff, crikey I sound like a swot...

David, coming on over

JGYG, have any fallen off yet?

EVE, funny! My mum does that - perhaps they know each other?

Nota Bene said...

Ah...kiss chase...how fast I ran depended on who was chasing....

The Dotterel said...

You need to do a risk assessment now before anything like kiss-chase. (And that's just for the staff!)

Irene said...

I myself prefer Tony the Tiger cornflakes with hot milk over them. You have to eat them very quickly, because the hot milk makes them soggy, but that's kind of nice too.

Adventure Mother said...

There's much worse to come. Just wait for all those nasty party bags and "why can't I have crisps, a Kit-Kat and jaffa cakes in my lunch bag like so-and-so?"

Louise said...

This is so funny, and so true! I can TOTALLY relate. My daughter is in 1st grade, and last year I could not believe the things she learned at school. High School Musical, Hannah Montana, and chocolate IS breakfast food.

Roll with the punches! You're still the mom! It's just a harder job now.

Over from Authorblog.

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

well done on POTD!!!
good post l can soo relate...happy days though.....these days my daughter wants, anyhting that l dont have...in the cupboard for breakfast....hogs the bathroom, form all us mortals needing it too...and empties my wallet each morning..sigh..happy days!! if only cocopops...remember bribery works..just dont tell anyone..lol

Millennium Housewife said...

NB, variant speed; the skill of the true kiss chaser, I like it.

Dotteral, at my friend's school she has to go in to take a splinter out, that's how risk averse they are.

Irene, I'm afraid i can't agree, sounds disgusting!

AM, it's already started.

Louise, thanks for dropping by, on my way over to you.


FFF, bribery is all I have...

Carol said...

What a fun post!! Coco Pops are imbedded in my mind as part of a delightfully magical 'fun' childhood!! Congrats on your award! I'm glad I found you!

Carol

CrazyCath said...

That is so funny, and I know it wasn't, but was if you know what I mean.
I so know what you are going through. I am afraid they still find a way around it even if you stick with the BBC. (They lobby the BBC and get Coco Pops written into storylines..._)

Millennium Housewife said...

Carol, Welcome! Thanks for stopping by MH

CC If they show that kind of initiaitve I may well cave on the coco pops

HER ON THE HILL said...

I remember having all the same thoughts of sinister external influences when my eldest first went off to PLAYGROUP for God's sake!! I hated the idea that some complete stranger was going to be influencing her development. Up until that point I knew that everything she was came straight from me and what I introduced to her. Wait till they get to junior school - all control lost, I can tell you. But I still don't buy them Coco Pops...!

anyscribbles said...

Pretty alarming when you see the influence of other people on your children. I don't recommend the BBC though, oh no. It's not the same as it used to be, full of politically correct jargon and nonsense. No I think Mary Poppins on a continuous loop?!!

Love the blog, just found it!
Scribble.