Friday, 19 September 2008

Things I Have Said To My Husband Today

  • Oh that's fantastic news, tell them congratulations!
  • What did they have?
  • Boy or girl?
  • How can you not know?
  • You did actually speak to Steve didn't you?
  • And neither of you thought to discuss the sex of his firstborn.
  • You can't think it's a girl, it's one or the other definitely
  • He didn't mention it
  • Did he perchance mention how Karen is?
  • I suppose that was a silly question considering you forgot to ask if the baby was a boy or a girl
  • How do you know she's fine?
  • You talked to her too? Fantastic!
  • What exactly do you mean she was shouting in the background?
  • Shouting what?
  • It's coming?
  • Darling, she wasn't actually in labour was she?
  • Are you sure that's what it sounded like?
  • Well why on earth was Steve calling you in the middle of Karen's labour?
  • What score?
  • Football.
  • Oh I see
  • I'm not surprised the midwife took Steve's TV off him
  • Well. I would have done the same thing
  • So, Karen's had the baby
  • She may have?
  • Well I suppose we will find out if Steve's ringing back at half time

23 comments:

Irene said...

Poor Karen, I hope this didn't really happen, or did it? Maybe Steve is not quite ready for fatherhood yet. Pity him if he has a girl, he really won't pay any attention then.

valley girl said...

Haha! - I can believe that happened. My husband never knows anything interesting about friends' babies, like the name/sex, and quite often forgets to tell me they've had one. He even saw our neighbours in the street with new baby and didn't look to see if it was boy or girl!

Nunhead Mum of One said...

This happens! David's workmate Michael's wife had a baby last week. I asked David how things went: he knew that it was "big", knew that Michael was thrown out of the delivery room for telling his wife off for swearing and that it was a "long labour". He didn't know sex, name or weight. Useless!

Potty Mummy said...

I LOVE these lists!

(and of course I don't need to say I've had similar conversations with my own husband, do I?)

Eve said...

I so totally believed this happened, having had a short discussion about booking our car in for a service on the petrol forcourt of the garagge on the way to one of my labours.
My husband thought that I was being unreasonable not wanting to check out the prices, and if they could fit us in, while we were there anyway, my reply is not for mixed company, and made the conversation short.

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

Hit the nail on the head there! How many times have I had this very same conversation (though maybe not with the footie scores bit). How big was the baby? Don't know. Is mum Ok? Think so. Natural birth? What other sort is there? Baby's name? You may as well ask what postpartum blues are.

Nota Bene said...

But of course the match is only 90 minutes long, and the baby will be around for ever!! Nah, just joking..fell out of bed when I read this....

Jeni said...

This story reminded me of two tales, similar -one involving a good friend whose husband dropped her off at the hospital -in labor, she was -and drove off to work. Returned later in the day after putting his 8-10 hours in ya know. And also, of the story my older daughter loves to tell about her ex-husband when their son was making his entrance into the world. Seems SIL was in a bit of a tizzy, wanting to locate a telephone in the delivery room so he could call his boss to tell him he would be late, not there to open up the shop that morning! And he never quite understood why that sort of irritated my daughter! His excuse to her was "Well, some people have responsibilities ya know!"

A Confused Take That Fan said...

MH, very funny and not surprising at all.
So, has Karen had the baby? Boy or a girl?

rosiero said...

I thought you were supposed to take CDs or tapes into the labour room to help the mother relax. NOT the father!! But then again, maybe Karen likes football too. LoL

Millennium Housewife said...

Irene, huge amounts of artistic licence!

VG, been there...

Nunhead, and there...

PM, thanks!

Eve, please tell us reply, I can take it I promise

Tara, lol at the 'what other kind of birth is there!'


NB, a blokes view, perfect, keep them coming


Jeni, responsibilities...?!

Confused, dunno!

Rosiero, yes, me too

Mud in the City said...

Laughed out loud at this one! Poor Karen! So - was it a boy or a girl?

Millennium Housewife said...

Mud, still haven't a clue...

that girl ? said...

Men don't details...they're rubbish at it! unless its round and they can kick it across a field...then they'll do details!

Millennium Housewife said...

TG, yup, in a nutshell

Mom/Mum said...

Oh this was brilliant! Loved it. been there too. Once my hubs got a text friend a very good friend of his to say, 'We had a baby boy this morning!" And my hubs said, "oh right. i didnt even know they were pregnant!" I mean, like, did he and his mate never discuss that over the previous nine months???!!!

Ernest de Cugnac said...

No, no details, but then we are a big picture species, us Martians.

blogthatmama said...

I can't believe Steve took a TV in with him! blogthatmamax

Bush Mummy said...

When she's recovered, and next time a big game is on, maybe she should calmly walk into the room where husband is watching, lie down on the floor in front of him and re-enact a full on demonstration of giving birth, primal screaming and all?

BM x

http://reluctantmemsahib.wordpress.com said...

screamingly screamingly funny. and doubtless horribly horrible true!

Carolyn said...

Hilarious. I love these posts of yours. They always give me such a giggle.

And thanks for stopping by to wish me a happy birthday. So nice!!

Paradise Lost In Translation said...

Ha! Yes, and it doesn't stop at the birth. I have to write our friends' children's names in my husband's address book, and put him in strict training before going to see them, so that he has them firmly in his head. Needless to say there's usually a malfunction somewhere along the line.

Laura said...

My Mom went into labour with me during a hockey game. When it was over (the game) my Dad took her to the hospital. Likely it was fine as I wasn't born right away or on the way. Maybe I just knew I had to wait till after the game.