Monday 8 December 2008

Books I Am Planning To Write

  • The School Run. Why it should be called The School Creep, The School Struggle to Find A ItalicParking Space, The School Wrestle With Coats and Hats, The School Remove Clingy Child From Thigh. Then you can run.
  • DIY for Husbands. Volume one: Bandaging
  • Getting Enough? Sex or sleep, you decide.
  • Baking with toddlers and other ways to ruin your house
  • Why? The Definitive Answer (RRP £1.2 bn)
  • The Joy of Sex and Other Great Jokes Men Have Played On Women
  • The Place Where Curvy Women Are Worshipped (includes free map)
  • Crisps: fat free if you wash them
  • The Only Diet You'll Ever Need: The Seafood Diet. Crisps, chocolate, croissants, chardonnay, cookies, cake, cream, chips, cheese

21 comments:

Potty Mummy said...

Here's another one: Playdates, and how to avoid them at all cost...

Clare Wassermann said...

I have a book called "How To Have Confident Children" - I'm looking for the sequel "How To Have Far Less Confident and therefore Less Embarrassing Children"

The Coffee Lady said...

oh good. Cappuccino will come under that diet too then

John said...

where to start? I loved "Why?" I'll buy that for sure. "The joy of sex". Even more enjoyable now I know it's a joke. And the free map, I suspect, points to my front door. Or should.

Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? said...

Three I'm working on ...

Creative Play: Decorate Your House With Marker Pens

Sleep Is For the Weak

Need Time Away From The Kids? How To Change Your Identity

Laura x

Devoted said...

ROTFL! You are cracking me up! I am on that "C" food diet right now!

I have bestowed upon you another award. Just pop on over to my blog post titled: A Day of Eights...Award and pick it up.

You are so talented and humorous. I look forward to each and every post from you. Have a great week!

Mmm said...

very funny.

Anonymous said...

"101 reasons to look forward to commuting by tube: embrace travelling like a tin of sardines"

ADDY said...

I'd buy the last one. When are you publishing it?

Dumdad said...

All destined to be best-sellers once you get them published.

John said...

and if I'm allowed back in for a second go, how about "Because: the definitive answer". No hang on, maybe I'm missing the subtlety of a question being the answer. In fact, I rather think I am. Shut up ernest.

nappy valley girl said...

Briliant

How about '101 ways to entertain your toddler at 6am on a dark winter morning'. With illustrated cartoons.

Tim Atkinson said...

How about 'How to get your child to play with his toys instead of destroying books, CDs, newspapers and emptying all the bins.' Please write that - I need it!

blogthatmama said...

I'm definitely buying Why? I'm sure I'll be able to afford it next year when I win the lottery after I've written the book 'The dead cert's guide to winning the lottery'.

A Confused Take That Fan said...

MH I think the Joy of Sex one is hilarious.
I however am about to write, A Girls Guide to Manioulating Your Husband - How to get everything you want, including a new house, new baby and mini car...
It would be one sentence long.
By putting out...

A Mum said...

very clever. another brilliant list. how about ''men are from mars, women from venus? i don't think so. Men are from a whole other universe''. x

cheshire wife said...

It is about time someone wrote a book about how to deal with grumpy parents. Perhaps I should do it, my mother must be the world's worst.

Anonymous said...

I can't wait to read "The Only Diet You'll Ever Need: The Seafood Diet. Crisps, chocolate, croissants, chardonnay, cookies, cake, cream, chips, cheese..." I also think you need a book titled, "You Can't Be Too Old or Too Menopausal."

Anonymous said...

I'm taking a class from Sophie King/Jane Bider the author of School Run. I highly recommend it if you are serious about your book.

Also, included you in the best of the British Mummy bloggers list ... you may want to put your two pence into the debate...http://tinyurl.com/5ueo9t

Bush Mummy said...

Fabulous! I would be first in the queue at Waterstone's to buy number one. Number 3 appeals as well.

Tag for you at my place.

BM x

Frog in the Field said...

Hilarious MH, truly the list Queen!