Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Things I Have Said To My Husband Today


  • Hi darling, how was your day?

  • Oh good

  • What's that?

  • That box you're carrying

  • Ooh goody I love surprises

  • All for me? wow

  • I wonder what's inside

  • Ooh what is it?

  • It looks like socks

  • Yup, definitely socks

  • White socks at that

  • Should I stop now or will further delving simply reveal more white socks?

  • Oh I see, more white socks

  • 100?

  • Ooh you really pushed the boat out this time

  • I'm not being sarcastic, it's just that it's a hundred white socks

  • Well what does one say about one hundred white socks?

  • Right

  • Well

  • Errr, thankyou

  • Where did you get them from?

  • If a guy at work is closing down it usually means his products aren't selling

  • Well, I'm saying that if no one in the world wanted to buy his socks, why on earth did you buy them?

  • They were free?

  • So my present is a hundred pairs of white socks that you got for free from a guy closing down a warehouse

  • What do you mean they're a size nine?

  • I'm a six

  • Well you know my bra size

  • Yes I'm sure it's much more fun shopping for bras

  • What do you mean you have your hands to help you remember the size?

  • Please don't tell me that's how you shop for bras

  • The assistant will understand the size, you don't have to cup your hands

  • Well how would you like it if that's how I shopped for your underpants?

  • No I don't think the assistant would fall down in an impressed faint

  • Or ask if you're likely to be single soon

  • Although you may be now I know how you shop for bras

19 comments:

Mud in the City said...

Romance certainly isn't dead in the Millennium Household!

The last present I got from a man was a brace of dead birds.

Something's wrong here....

SandyCalico said...

Brilliant!

Rebel Mother said...

I am sneezing because of my hayfever and laughing my head off because of your hubby and his bra searching antics!

Fabulous post as always - really made me laugh. RMxx

Kelloggsville said...

This sums up every single relationship/differences between men and women book ever written. What a Fantastic post, brilliantly funny! I made my husband read it!

den said...

(0)

Millennium Housewife said...

Mud, you win

SC, cheers!

RM, get a tissue girl!

Kellog, how do you get your husband to do as he's told?

Den, is that a zero??

Maternal Tales said...

I would just love to spend some time in your house...!

Perfectly Happy Mum said...

I love it!! you are a brilliant writer :)

Jeanne said...

I don't think there's enough money in the world to get my husband to walk into a lingerie shop.

About those socks -- sounds like a great opportunity for a bloggy giveaway. Or 100 bloggy giveaways!

Thanks for coming by the Raisin Chronicles. Adding you to my list of blogs I follow.

rosiero said...

I can just see your next post....one hundred things to do with socks!

Deb said...

OMG ~ I laughed my way through this - I loved the whole thing and can't wait to read it to my husband! I have been on a blogging break but am so happy to have returned. I am now visiting all of my old favorites - and am so glad that I did! I will be back soon - so I can find out what you do with 100 pairs of socks ! Enjoy.

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Tee hee, tee hee. You could add to that,

"Err, no honey, I don't think the man helping me in the men's underwear department would think socks had anything to do with anything."

Clare W said...

Ha ha - I got a pair of secateurs one Valentine's Day. How's that for "pick your own". Hrmmmmph. Very funny MH

A Modern Mother said...

Love it!

You don't like white socks?

Shiny said...

Wow - 100 socks! Perhaps we could combine efforts and I could have 100 white socks as The Amazing Prize, going to the winner of the Temporary-Shack-Up-Rich competition! I'd think that would send competition entries through the roof! I mean, really, 100 white socks? Who could resist?
Ooo, ooo! We could embroider (and, by that, I mean get somebody else to embroider) a monogram - maybe TSUR on their turn-overy bits. Ok, I'm stopping now x

Moannie said...

100 pairs of white socks that are too big for you. Oh dear! Sell 'em on ebay as the worst present ever.

tammy said...

Hilarious!

kristine said...

fantastic - love these "conversations"!

Frog in the Field said...

What do you mean you have your hands to help you remember the size?

Please don't tell me that's how you shop for bras

The assistant will understand the size, you don't have to cup your hands

Well how would you like it if that's how I shopped for your underpants?

No I don't think the assistant would fall down in an impressed faint

My children want to know why I can't speak breathe and why I'm crying...just bloody brilliant!
Frog
x