Friday, 19 March 2010

Things I Have Said To My Husband Today

  • No
  • No thanks
  • I said no
  • I don't want to pull your finger
  • Because I know what will happen
  • I do know
  • Because I've been married to you for years
  • It will not be different this time
  • It won't
  • Because I've been married to you for years
  • And every time you pass wind
  • Pass wind
  • It's the polite way to say it
  • I'm not doing it
  • I don't think I'll be pleasantly surprised this time
  • I'm not doing it
  • I'm sorry if you're getting desperate
  • Stop hopping around
  • I know it's trying to come out
  • Well just go to work
  • And do it in the car
  • Sorry if that's no fun
  • And your boss doesn't like it
  • Your finger does not need to be pulled
  • It's not a biological necessity
  • Or a unique quirk of your physique
  • Please don't try to dance your pecs when you say that
  • I'm sure it does impress your boos
  • And the lady at the checkout
  • Because I've been married to you for years
  • Just get ready for work
  • And put your finger away
  • You will not burst
  • I assure you
  • Stop hopping
  • Oh, ok
  • I said ok
  • I will make it a good one
  • Let's just get it done shall we?
  • Give me your finger
  • There
  • All better?
  • What?
  • What was I supposed to be pleasantly surprised about?
  • Oh
  • Well
  • Yes
  • I suppose it is your best yet
  • Yes aged oak with citrus undertones is what I was going for

22 comments:

Very Bored in Catalunya said...

Love it, although at least you get an option though, mine just farts on my leg in bed which I'm sure is probably grounds for divorce.

Manicmum said...

LOL - I love your Things I Have Said posts! Keep em coming. XX

AnyEdge said...

I'm confused: how would your husband rupturing his colon NOT have been the preferable outcome?

Eva Gallant said...

You guys are too funny!

Supermanslady said...

First time visiting your blog from SITS this morning...and what a post I stumble upon!

Going to read on! Like your humor!!!

http://supermanslady.blogspot.com/2010/03/stand-by-your-man.html

Mhel said...

Hahahahahaha.... What a funny post... Im am now thinking whatelse can I say to my hubby... Stopping by from SITS, Happy Friday!!

Linda said...

Hey have our husbands met?
Funny lady. Found you on SITS.
I have 6 kids and two dogs and one husband. So I win. I know it is not a contest. But I still win.

Love your blog. I'll be back.

Gabriella Moonlight said...

This is great, sounds like many conversations with my significant other...LOL!

Expat mum said...

Wow - I had the same conversation with my fourteen year old. They really don't ever grow up do they?

Buncha Blue-Eyed Monkeys said...

OMG! kids haha. Hope you don't mind me adding you to my reader :) See you again soon!

Clare Wassermann said...

oh dear - it's just like tonight in my house. I made my family eat jerusalem artichoke soup because I grew them. They have DIRE consequences and there may be a hurricane warning on the weather forecast tonight.

RainSplats said...

lol! Thanks for stopping by today. I like your format.

Much More Than Mommy said...

This sounds vaguely familiar...

Although mine went: "Did you have to do that while facing me? NO DON'T LIFT THE SHEETS! *faint*" ;-)

Thank you for stopping by my blog! :-)

Missy said...

LOL
I'm sure I have had a day of quotes like that.

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

Nota Bene said...

Was he using his finger as a cork?

A Confused Take That Fan said...

Aww, he is such a charming man, reminds me very much of Mr Darcy. I am terribly jealous.

Magic Mummy said...

Brilliant - I have one just like it at my house!

Isabella Golightly said...

Maybe they're just clones - mine is exactly the same too. Funny.

Mud in the City said...

Does he hold your head under the duvet as well....?

scrapwordsmom said...

FUnNY!

magically ordinary said...

Such a funny post! What a laugh!

Annie said...

Your blog is absolutely adorable! I love all of the lists.

Annie