Monday, 21 June 2010

Books I Am Planning To Write

  • De Worm Your Family In Seconds
  • How To Ask Your Friends To De Worm Without Giving Yourself Away
  • Concealing Worm Medicine In Sandwiches
  • Sex Education For Six Year Olds - the avoidance approach
  • Sex Education For Six Year Olds - how to defer to your Husband
  • Sex Education For Three Year Olds- how to defer to your six year old
  • Lose Fifteen Pounds Instantly - put your toddler down
  • Get Your Kids Hooked On Veg! alternative uses for nicotine
  • Sex! And Other Ways To Jewelery, Attention and Shoes
  • Talking To Teachers: tuck your shirt in and stand up straight
  • Child Proof Your House: lock them out
  • Crikey Your Pecs Look Good! and other ways to get your husband to do absolutely anything*


*not a guarantee

19 comments:

AnyEdge said...

You forgot: How to console your husband and his ridiculous friends when your national team is choking on the grim ashes ignominy.

Or something like that.

London City Mum said...

Another one you forgot: Great Comebacks for Those Embarassing Moments when Children Spill the Beans (and Should Have Shut Up Instead.)

LCM x

McVal said...

LOL! Love them! But I really have to read your blog more... Why are you trying to deworm your family? Got some issues??

Eva Gallant said...

It's been a while since I've seen a post from you; I guess it's because you've been writing these books.

nappy valley girl said...

Is the worm medicine concealed in sarnies for the kids, or your guests and friends? If the latter, that is ingenious. What about in cocktails too?

Isabella Golightly said...

What about "sexual positions you can suggest to your parents without embarrassment"?

criticalcrass said...

thanks for reading picky and leaving it some love. my mom's read that entry. i gave her a copy of all the inquisition essays for mothers day or her birthday or some other mommy-like day a few years ago.

they don't read my blog, though. sometimes, i'm really, really glad of that. most times, actually.

Mwa said...

You're going to be rich! All excellent titles.

Nota Bene said...

But I liked eating worms when I was smaller

Mud in the City said...

Do Buckethead and Stu need worming too?

AllyRae said...

Haha how funny!

Jessica @ One Shiny Star said...

Gosh I love lists. I wonder if I could write my entire blog in list form. Hmm... maybe that's a big too organized for me. lol.

BTW, I love your blog layout, the colors and your header: Sooo pretty!

Angel Armogida said...

Great blog, I'm following you!

Angel x
High Heels & Lipgloss

Carly Yeganeh said...

You make me laugh soooo much, so pleased to have discovered your blog and added you on twitter too :) x

nmaha said...

How to explain the physical differences between genders (the little thing that hangs)and ages (why I have stuff she doesn't)?

Scottish Lass said...

Visiting from Sits.
Glad I found you.
Miss the British humour.

Margaret said...

Those are great titles! I wanted to drop by and thank you for coming by and commenting on my SITS day!

Adrenalynn said...

Fabulous. I'd totally buy your books. I just gotta say, I've read your blog for a while now, and I absolutely love you. You're ridiculously funny!

http://reluctantmemsahib.wordpress.com said...

i'd add 'how to de-nit your children in secret' too and follow that up with 'how to pretend it wasn't your children that gave the entire school nits'. you've definately got some bestsellers in there.