Monday, 4 August 2014

Things I Have Said To My Father Today


  • Hi Dad
  • It's me
  • Fine thanks
  • Yes, yes fine
  • All fine yes thanks
  • No I don't want to speak to mum
  • Well, you
  • Ok
  • Well
  • Err
  • Right
  • Um 
  • Well a package arrived addressed to you
  • At my house
  • Oh right
  • Glad you're not surprised
  • Oh that's lovely of you
  • Well I suppose surprises are nice yes
  • Mum does love surprises
  • Especially on her birthday
  • Well anything would beat the trowel you bought her last year
  • Or the comb from the year before
  • Yes she does use it daily
  • On the cat
  • The Internet is magic yes
  • All sorts of things
  • Excellent
  • I'm glad you're having such fun with it
  • And enjoying ordering surprises
  • It's just
  • Just
  • Well could you come and get it sometime
  • Before her birthday
  • Well I'm very sorry for ruining the surprise
  • But it's been sitting on the mantlepiece
  • And vibrating
  • And Jack asked me all about it
  • And made a rrrr ing noise
  • Well I said that you'd ordered a razor
  • And then it vibrated off the mantlepiece and the packaging split
  • Yes I did like the colour
  • Very nice
  • Well a sort of purply pink I suppose
  • It does suit mum's colouring yes
  • Could you come and get it?
  • It's just not suitable here
  • I left it on the floor
  • Rrrrr ing
  • Would you want to touch it?
  • Oh good lord
  • I don't need details thanks
  • I know we're all grown ups
  • No thanks
  • I really don't want to try one
  • It's not an investment 
  • My future happiness is fine
  • I don't care if there's a sale
  • I don't feel I'm missing out
  • Honestly
  • How's what going?
  • What do you mean in that department?
  • We're fine
  • I won't thank you in the future
  • Please don't suppose anything
  • Or make suggestions
  • He won't look at me with new eyes
  • No more details please
  • Could you just come and get it
  • Please
  • Ok
  • Fine
  • I'll think about it
  • I know how to work the internet thanks
  • I'll look it up
  • Yes I promise
  • And we'll never, ever mention this again.
  • 11 comments:

    Amy at love made my home said...

    We have conversations a little like this sometimes in our house!! xx

    ADDY said...

    I have so missed these. So glad you are back!

    Expat mum said...

    Yay, they're back.

    Gigi said...

    I recently did a post regarding conversations with my dad...and I can honestly say that I'd rather have the conversations that I have with my dad than the conversations you have with yours! (Hi, how are you? What's the weather like? *long, awkward silences*)

    The Reading Residence said...

    That is a conversation I never want to have with either of my parents!

    Nota Bene said...

    Noooooooo!

    nappy valley girl said...

    Fantastic to have you back!
    I could write something similar about my father in law, but fear it would be X-Rated!

    ChrisB said...

    Ha ha! Hilarious....

    Isabella Golightly said...

    So lovely to have you back!

    Rethink Street said...

    Hello, I remember reading your blog yonks ago when I was blogging as GoneBackSouth. Welcome back!

    الصفوة جروب said...

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