Things I Have said To My Husband Today

• That’s lovely
• Thank you
• Yes I do
• I do love being on holiday
• With you
• Of course I like being with you
• Well
• Because
• Well
• We’re married
• And that’s what married people do
• What do you mean bored?
• Why would I get bored/
• Who’s bored?
• You
• Ah
• Right
• Ok
• Well
• What would you like to do?
• What football?
• In Spain?
• Oh
• Well
• Ok
• Just this once
• You’re not doing me a favour
• I don’t need you out of my hair
• You’re not very annoying
• Yes even when you dance
• Please don’t dance
• I like your jokes
• Inappropriate is good
• No
• No I haven’t wished you had someone to play with
• Waiting for what mates?
• We’re in Spain
• You don’t know anyone in Spain
• So you don’t have any mates
• You’ve what?
• Invited who?
• Pokey, Stu and Bucket Head?
• What do you mean I’m welcome?
• Oh good Lord Jesus Christ
• Yes
• Yes I hear it
• Go and open the door then

Things I Have Said to Pokey, Stu and Bucket Head Today

• Oh
• Hi guys
• Yes
• Lovely to see you too
• No thanks
• No thanks Bucket Head
• I can do my own suncream
• Really
• Well I tend to yes
• Well always
• I always wear a bikini top
• No
• I never take it off
• Not even now
• I know we’re in Europe
• I don’t mind looking like a tourist
• I don’t mind standing out
• Please stop nudging each other
• And grinning
• Standing out is not a funny phrase
• Very mature Pokey
• Pretending to have boobs is a classic I agree
• You’re all very funny
• Here you go
• All of you
• It’ll get you an ice cream
• Yes you can spend it on beer
• Now go and watch the football