Things I Have Said To My Mother Today

• Oh hello
• It's nice that you remembered
• No no party, just a cake
• Next Saturday
• What would I like?
• I don't really need presents
• What do you mean oh good?
• Have you nothing in mind?
• You're what?
• Say that slowly
• How are you leaving your head to medical science?
• For my birthday
• I know I said I didn't really need presents
• But for my birthday
• I'm sure it will be very interesting
• And full of useful information
• You have kept it pristine
• They will love your cake recipes 
• You do have a lot of good ideas
• I'm just not sure I want your head for my birthday
• Unless it's imminent
• JOKE
• Honestly it was a joke
• I am taking it seriously
• You're right it's just like adopting a goat
• Except this is your head
• I'm sure they will have seen nothing quite like it
• I'm glad you're excited