Things I have said to my husband today

• Under the bed
• Our bed
• At the back
• It is there I put it there
• I didn't think I needed to say it was in a plastic bag, it's the only thing under the bed
• Salad
• Chicken
• No, no steak
• What are you looking for?
• The fridge is warming up
• The contents won't change just because you're staring at them
• No there's no steak
• Chicken and salad
• Could you flush the chain please?
• And put the seat down
• Spray the freshener
• What do you do about the toilets at work?
• Oh I see
• It's over to your right
• The cupboard on the right
• Right
• That's left
• I've put the children's clothes out for them to wear today
• I know but it really clashes
• See all the stripes on her tights? They clash with the dots on her shirt
• And the tartan on her skirt
• Yes it's lovely that you've dressed Jack as a rugby player