Thursday, 24 July 2008

Things I have said to my Husband today

  • Ooh, yes I'd love a night out tonight
  • What do you mean just you?
  • But I do like them
  • I love Pokey, Stu and Bucket Head
  • Oh
  • Right
  • Of course I want you to have a good night
  • I know Pokey, Stu and Bucket Head don't have girlfriends
  • Apart from each other
  • Nothing, sorry
  • I didn't say anything I just coughed
  • Will you be coming home after?
  • Are you sure you don't want to stay at Pokey, Stu and Bucket Head's?
  • Yes of course I want you to come home
  • Well you only have to sleep in the spare room if you snore
  • I know you snore when you're drunk
  • So you're guaranteeing that you're going to snore?
  • Well then it'll have to be the spare room
  • Because I have to get up with the children
  • What do you mean where will Pokey, Stu and Bucket Head sleep?
  • Invited them here?
  • After a night in the pub?
  • Hmm
  • Well OK then
  • Could you just make sure you all throw up in the toilet?
  • I know there was a queue but the wok's just never been the same
  • OK I'll put buckets out
  • Send my love to Pokey, Stu and Bucket Head


A Confused Take That Fan said...

You deserve a medal.
Puking in woks and they are still allowed past the front door. What a lovely tolerant wife you are...

Unknown said...

And a million other wives groan in recognition!
The last time my husband got drunk he was sick in my handbag. If it wasn't bad enough cleaning that up at 1am, my daughter then wet the bed at 4am! I was not a mummy to be messed with after that

Anonymous said...

excellent! the last time David went out with The Lads From The Office he insisted he was sober when he got home. the fact that he was sitting cross legged on the landing eating a bonio sort of ruined it.

Saz said...

LOL...reading this after reading 'mum on the verge's' latest post is kismet!! LOL

sara x

ADDY said...

Hilarious, as always.

John said...

Very funny MH. Ah, men, don't you just love them? Well, I don't obviously, that would be too ...

Gone Back South said...

Oooo, I hope the evening was okay in the end - do update us!

Frog in the Field said...

I love Taras comment, made me laugh very awfully lots.
Dear MiMum, sorry I've not visited for a while.
Your lists are awesome, no question.
Also read all about the vasectomy..nice, and your mother's return from LA.
Leotard and tights? I really, really hope you are not exagerating one teensy bit, bloody brilliant.

nappy valley girl said...

I love the fact that men, especially drinking pals, all still have these nicknames - it's like they are mentally still at school. I know grown men who are referred to as things like 'Tosser' by all their mates. I don't think women do it. Imagine if we went round calling our female friends Fluffy and Frizzle Hair?

Anonymous said...

Amazing how much colour can be garnered from so few words. I hope the night wasn't too painful!

Unknown said...

brilliantly funny MH!

Millennium Housewife said...

Confused, you're right, I do deserve a medal, a big diamond encrusted one, thanks for suggesting it MH

Tara, LOL! MH

Nunhead, my whole family have lol'd at that MH

FFF, I'll check it out, thanks!

Rosiero, thanks for popping in, love your posts MH

Earnest, that's a whole other blog...MH

GBS, thanks for worrying about me, all fine here MH

Frogy, welcome back, I missed you MH

VG, that would be hilarious, though dredging through teenage memories to think of them would be awful... (unless said memories are about your friend and you're making a speech at her wedding, now that would be good) MH

MUD< still working through your blog, lots of fun MH

Elsie, thanks for dropping in, on my way over MH

blogthatmama said...

Just a quick question, why don't Pokey, Stu and Bucket Head have girlfriends? Is it because they are sick in Woks whenever they go for a sleepover?

Millennium Housewife said...

I think it's a miriad of things, the wok didn't help, obviously. MH

travelling, but not in love said...

Classy. You should have said that he could have the spare bed and that Pokey, Stu and Bucket Head could all hop in with you.

Although, with names like that, I'm guessing there's very little to recommend a roll in the hay with them?

A Mum said...

OMG! I screamed with laughter. That sounds so like conversations with own best beloved. Esp the last bit.

i'm gng to be a bit late tonight


because I HAVE to have drinks with tom/dick/harry (why? will he spontaneously combust if he doesn't?)

Oh. Ok.

I won't be late

Oh. Ok. shall i wait for you for supper

Oh, no, don't worry (which means he will be late. very)

Ok. But don't snore ok.

I won't.

But he will. He'll get in and make a big play of creeping about the bedroom even though car lights and frantic barking of dogs have woken me up anyway so I can watch him picking his way thru demi gloom.

He falls into bed and begins to snore.

I jab him hard in ribs, ''shhhhhhhhhh, stop snoring".

'how can i be snoring?' he demands, 'i'm not even asleep yet'.

so what's he doing then, growling?

david mcmahon said...

Pity about the wok!!

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Gwen said...

Do you need a spare wok? because I think I might have a "clean" one.

Hilary said...

Great post! (David McMahon sent me here)

Millennium Housewife said...

Travelling, if you knew Pokey Stu and Bucket Head you would eat your words. I'd rather share a bed with the dog (who fell into the canal yesterday) MH

Memsahib, that was brilliant!

Gwen, thanks for the visit, there's a number of things I could do with, would you like me to furnish you with a list? MH

Hilary, cheers for letting me know, I love his blog so it's a happy day to find myself on there MH

aims said...

I'm absolutely positive I've never said any of those things to The Man.....hmmm....interesting household you have there girl!

Frog in the Field said...

Can we have prrof of life?
Where's the next list?

Millennium Housewife said...

AIMS, you're missing out! Come and visit...

Froggy, next list needs some stomach, may spare you al for a while.. MH