Things I have said to my husband today

• I don't know why I'm crying, I just am
• no it isn't hormones
• how dare you say it's hormones?
• well you never take me seriously
• can I help it if I'm right?
• well if it is hormones, which it isn't, my feelings are still valid
• valid
• they mean something
• yes, they have meaning
• and logic, yes
• Please don't jiggle Jack like that he's just had his dinner
• there, that's what he had for dinner, down your shirt
• He's crying because he needs his nappy changing
• it was my turn last time
• upstairs
• on the changing table
• cotton wool
• water
• take the dirty one off and put a clean one on
• well change his trousers too
• it is not inhumane
• because I did the last 32
• I tell Isla not to do that
• it teaches her bad habits
• no, I don't think you're a bad example
• or have bad habits
• because I want other people to like being with her
• yes I like being with you
• it's not that simple
• If you take the bins out I'll start clearing the kitchen
• where have you been?
• it doesn't take half an hour to take the bins out
• yes the kitchen does look nice
• I used magic
• It was a funny joke darling
• I laughed on the inside
• it's just I've heard it before
• no, no you are funny
• very original
• I think I got the two jokes mixed up
• yours was the funniest
• Can you just feed the baby
• I haven't had a shower yet
• what do you mean if I just got up ten minutes earlier
• I don't know why I'm crying I just am