Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Things I Have Said To My Husband Today

  • Hmmm
  • What is it?
  • Well let me have a look then
  • Hold still
  • Don't complain all day and not let me look
  • Pull them down a bit more
  • Ok
  • Hmmmm
  • Er
  • Well it looks like a rash
  • Has it been chaffing?
  • Well it looks like it has
  • I'm well aware that it's itchy
  • Nobody could have escaped the fact that it's itching
  • Please don't scratch while I'm down here
  • It's been a week now I think
  • Judging from when the itching started
  • Why don't you put some cream on?
  • We have
  • In the cabinet
  • If it works for nappy rash it'll work for this
  • It's not bum cream it's for rashes
  • No I don't think you need something extra strength from the doctor
  • Because it's just a rash
  • Well I think it's just from sweat
  • No, I don't think you're ill
  • Or that it's life threatening
  • Have you ever heard of death by rash?
  • What do you mean Pokey, Stu and Bucket Head say it could happen?
  • You let them look at your bum rash?
  • Why?
  • Why would they have any insight?
  • Are they medically trained?
  • Specialists in rashes?
  • Have any knowledge at all of rash related deaths?
  • Pokey had one?
  • One like this?
  • Oh
  • Well what did the doctor say?
  • His pants?
  • Well how often did he change them?
  • Do you only change your pants once a week?
  • Oh good
  • But every few days isn't good enough
  • Every day
  • Yes, every day
  • Most people do
  • It's not obsessive
  • Or girly
  • Most normal people change everyday
  • Pokey, Stu and Bucket Head are not normal
  • Because they're forty four and live together
  • And only eat bacon
  • And still have a wok in their garden
  • That Bucket Head used as a toilet
  • That's not normal.

47 comments:

Sarah said...

I love how there is a high concentration of conversation on "rashes!" Sounds like some conversation I have with the Husband.
Found you on SITS!
Sarah

Muddling Along Mummy said...

Wonderful -that has brightened up my morning no end !

5thsister said...

Thanks for the morning giggles! Yeah, tell the hubs to put some cream on it and to change his underoos!

Geezees Geezees Custom Canvas Art said...

very funny!

Mud in the City said...

Don't tell me...is Bucket Head single?

(and no, that isn't me angling for an introduction...)

brainella said...

You are quite right. It is NOT normal. :)

Nota Bene said...

Could it be the same rash as my rash? The life threatening one?

Sara said...

LOL Love your man's friends! Jon cuts the mesh lining out of his swimming trunks cause they itch. Hope his life threatening rash gets better and bum cream works on everything. ;)

Suburban Princess said...

LOL that's awesome! Sounds like the kind of conversations we have lol!

nappy valley girl said...

I feel like I know this rash.
And have definitely had conversations about frequency of pants change.....what is it with men?

Eva Gallant said...

Too funny! The most minor things can be dibilitating to men!

London City Mum said...

Superb - just typical male, isn't it?

LCM x

The Peach Tart said...

Definitely daily pants changes. Definitely.

Expat mum said...

Sweat pants - they don't chafe!!!

Mwa said...

That's great! And there are still men who don't change their pants every day? I thought they had died out from bum rash a while back.

clo said...

Sounds liek a conversation I had with my 4 year old a couple of days ago...it's a male thing.

Chef E said...

Hmmm, I am laughing...

Okay the word verification is 'splurm'

Kelloggsville said...

I'm wondering if my hubby is living a double life - sounds awfully familiar!!!

Very Funny :0)

little red hen said...

Ah, the things we do for love - poke around our husbands scabby bits.

Gabriella Moonlight said...

OMG this was great! Thank you for your amazing comment on my blog, I have added you to my blog roll! I think that in my job I've had these conversations too...ugh!

Thank you for your comment...stay in touch!
xo G

Chatterbox said...

That was hilarious.
What a wonderful list. We all seem to have just so similar conversations day in and day out.

Loved the one,"Most normal people change everyday".

Keep up the wonderful work. Thank you for dropping by my blog and sharing your wonderful views.

Hope to stay in touch.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving :)

Always a Southern Girl said...

Too funny! Stopping by from SITS!

Chatterbox said...

Added you to my blog roll girl :)

Let's have a good time together.

Cheers!!

Potty Mummy said...

What is this SITS, MH? Is it something to do with the life-threatening rash? It does rather sound it... (clearly I am just jealous that whatever / wherever it is I have no idea what they're on about). Oh, and great post, by the way - as ever. PM x

Quincifer said...

Hahahahaha that made me laugh :)

Nice to find a fellow Brit (and someone new for me to follow) via SITS! Have a nice evening x

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

I love that you had to tell him to not scratch while you're 'down there' Classic!

Stopping by from Sits. And thinking I may have to start following you...

Ghada said...

Love it! Very funny. Just stopping by from SITS. I'm a Canadian living in New Zealand so don't get to experience the rush of Thanksgiving or Black Friday either :( Oh well, we could stuff ourselves silly if we wanted to LOL

rosiero said...

Saw "things i said" and had to click on your post for another laugh. Brilliant, as always. I worry about Pokey, Stu and Bucket Head. They are a bad influence!!

muummmmeeeeee...... said...

Love it! Your husband sounds just like mine only slightly more house-trained...

Aimee said...

hey housewife
yes I'm following! You're ongoing feature "things I said to my husband today" absolutely has me snorting coffee out my nose. It wasn't the microwave thing, because I actually don't own a microwave, but it's always nice to be able to lord it over someone else. Hope you don't mind! Love the blog! And if that is REALLY your picture up there well you can feel superior to me too for your shapely eyebrows and perfectly coifed blonde hair. Myself, I look like a yeti.

Diney said...

Sudocreme is good for daddy rash as well as nappy rash - a bit claggy perhaps, but still....

Nova said...

Hmmmm, nice.
Hope 'it' improves very soon. ;0)

Tara@Sticky Fingers said...

Love your 'things I said' lists MH.
Have paid homage to you with my own today ...

tattytiara said...

Doesn't sound like your husband had the best of days there!

Rebel Mother said...

OMG! That will have me laughing all day.

Fabulous.

Love RMxx

Nicolasa said...

This is awesome! hahah! Stopping by from SITS!

Maddie Grigg said...

What a bum deal. Can he sit down all right? Washing powder maybe? Probably your fault in that case. x

Heather @ Two Little Monkeys said...

Too funny! Thanks for stopping by my blog :)

Shell said...

How funny!

Stopping by from SITS.

Clare Wassermann said...

magnificent!

Triplets Plus Two Momma said...

Happy SITS day and Oh dear.
Really. How is the rash?
The suspense will kill me.
Great fun!

Confessions From A Working Mom said...

Returning the SITS visit!

I hate to say it, but my hubby and I have had wayyyy too many rash conversations lately... about him, the baby, and the dog! It's a rash triple-threat!

~Elizabeth
http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.blogspot.com

San said...

Hahaha! Made my Monday morning! ;)

I can imagine the other side of the conversation too! :P

"If it works for nappy rash it'll work for this" ... diaper cream is a cure-all for me too! Haha!

kristibonney said...

Thanks so much for stopping by my blog SITSta! I loved this post. I could not stop laughing. Sounds like a conversation I've had with my son. Thankfully, I haven't had to educate my husband on the importance of changing his pants daily. LOL Have a great day!

Kristi, Blog Author of Hello...Is This On?
@TweetingMama

Clare Wassermann said...

Thank you for lovely comment on my blog. But mine isn't funny like yours. Funny wins

Pufnstuf said...

This actually made me laugh so much I had tears in my eyes! I'm really glad I have an office, so I could shut the door until I recovered - my colleagues would never have understood.

BTW, thanks for being the first - and so far only - person to comment on my blog. It proves that at least one other person has read it :-)

A Confused Take That Fan said...

I love your husbands friends. They are like the Young Ones only 20 years too late. Bum cream is the official cure all in our house. x