Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Things I have said To My Parents Today



  • Ooh thankyou
  • Happy early Christmas to you too
  • I like the wrapping
  • Shall I guess?
  • Ok
  • Err
  • Well it doesn't rattle
  • It's squareish
  • It's quite light
  • I'm guessing a book
  • Shall I open it?
  • Excellent
  • I wonder what it is
  • Yes I was right, a book
  • Sex As You Age?
  • Sex As You Age?
  • What do you mean I'm quite welcome?
  • It may well have got you through some tough times
  • But I'm in my thirties
  • My Thirties
  • I'm not aging
  • Or in need of an elderly person's sex manual
  • Oh crikey
  • There's notes in the margin
  • Especially for me?
  • Was this your book?
  • Dad please don't say Ours like that
  • While putting your arm round mum
  • Because I'm holding your sex manual
  • And sitting next to you
  • And trying desperately to think of something pleasant
  • And Christmassy
  • And not look at the chapter entitled Arthritis Of The Knee And You
  • Dad
  • Stop winking at mum
  • Put your hands where I can see them
  • Both of you
  • I'm taking away the sherry
  • No you can't have it back at bedtime
  • Because we're in the room next to you
  • And I can see you've put your knee bandage on
  • Yes of course safety comes first
  • But so does your daughter's mental health
  • I'm sure you do have a book on that too
  • But really
  • No more books OK
  • Because my nerves can't take it
  • No thanks
  • I don't want my other present
  • Because it looks suspiciosly like a pot of chocolate
  • And a box of knee bandages



5 comments:

Eva Gallant said...

That is just toooo funny! lol

Carrie said...

I don't think i can adapt to a situation like this=)

Stacey said...

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Au Pair UK said...

haha...Its really interesting.

NonChavYoungMum said...

Oh God I think I just got a hernia from laughing, you poor thing!