Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Things I have said To My Parents Today



  • Ooh thankyou
  • Happy early Christmas to you too
  • I like the wrapping
  • Shall I guess?
  • Ok
  • Err
  • Well it doesn't rattle
  • It's squareish
  • It's quite light
  • I'm guessing a book
  • Shall I open it?
  • Excellent
  • I wonder what it is
  • Yes I was right, a book
  • Sex As You Age?
  • Sex As You Age?
  • What do you mean I'm quite welcome?
  • It may well have got you through some tough times
  • But I'm in my thirties
  • My Thirties
  • I'm not aging
  • Or in need of an elderly person's sex manual
  • Oh crikey
  • There's notes in the margin
  • Especially for me?
  • Was this your book?
  • Dad please don't say Ours like that
  • While putting your arm round mum
  • Because I'm holding your sex manual
  • And sitting next to you
  • And trying desperately to think of something pleasant
  • And Christmassy
  • And not look at the chapter entitled Arthritis Of The Knee And You
  • Dad
  • Stop winking at mum
  • Put your hands where I can see them
  • Both of you
  • I'm taking away the sherry
  • No you can't have it back at bedtime
  • Because we're in the room next to you
  • And I can see you've put your knee bandage on
  • Yes of course safety comes first
  • But so does your daughter's mental health
  • I'm sure you do have a book on that too
  • But really
  • No more books OK
  • Because my nerves can't take it
  • No thanks
  • I don't want my other present
  • Because it looks suspiciosly like a pot of chocolate
  • And a box of knee bandages



7 comments:

Eva Gallant said...

That is just toooo funny! lol

Carrie said...

I don't think i can adapt to a situation like this=)

Stacey said...

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Au Pair UK said...

haha...Its really interesting.

NonChavYoungMum said...

Oh God I think I just got a hernia from laughing, you poor thing!

الصفوة جروب said...

هل تعانون من الحشرات وكثرتها واضرارها البالغة نقدم لكم افضل شركة لابادة جميع انواع الحشرات بالضمان وهي شركة المثالية لمكافحة الحشرات حيث تقدم اليوم افضل العروض والخدمات بارخص الاسعار بخصم 50% لفترة محدودة

شركة المثالية لمكافحة الحشرات
شركة المثالية لمكافحة الحشرات بالدمام
شركة المثالية لمكافحة الحشرات بالخبر
شركة المثالية لمكافحة الحشرات بالقطيف
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
شركة المثالية لمكافحة الحشرات بالاحساء
شركة المثالية لمكافحة الحشرات بالجبيل
شركة المثالية لمكافحة الحشرات بجدة

الصفوة جروب said...

شركة ماسة لمكافحة الحشرات
شركة ماسة لرش المبيدات
شركة ماسة لمكافحة الحشرات بالاحساء
شركة ماسة لمكافحة الحشرات بالرياض