Wednesday, 14 November 2007

To Snip or not To Snip?

Let's all hear it for contraception -hurrah! Single handed emancipator of women, fore runner of the sexual revolution, answer to overcrowding (and possibly even damp problems). It kept us child free when we wanted to be and whoop de doo, out the window it goes when you don't want to be - what's to complain? I'm not. It's just that no one ever told you that post children contraception becomes even more of a debate than before. Before you could entertain the idea of 'what one would do should one find oneself unexpectedly pregnant' with various romantic and decidedly unromantic endings to the scenario. Post children the unromantic answer seems - to me anyway - a lot harder because you have in front of you the results of a possible split condom/missed pill/eighth glass of wine, oh go on then zambuca, and you LOVE them so. But you LOVE them so to the point of never ever wanting another (or until the memory of the birth, stitches, breastfeeding - do not delete any as appropriate - fades). So an 'accident' holds so many more implications surely because you know what you're letting yourself in for whatever you do.
So really the best option is to leave it to him and no I don't mean the male pill; the temptation to swap it at the doctor's for Viagra "just to see what it felt like" would be too tempting, thus tripling the chances of an unheralded pink line moment. So a vasectomy, of course seems to be the simplest and most long-term pain free answer.

Obviously I'm aware of and even a little sympathetic to, a man's preference for an intact vas deferens but if being intact/undamaged is the competition here we've got them licked (and not in the way they like). I've even pointed out its distinct advantages; should something ever happen to me and Iain dared to move on it could prove to be a very effective chat up line: "Do you know that I've had my vas deferens detached? Means no bother for you ladies" wink wink (perhaps even a click of the tongue here?). Husband unhelpfully pointed out that if he ever was to move on it would be with some whipper snapper who would be young enough and free enough to perhaps want children (though she never has any so the fantasy goes). So detached plumbing would not be quite the tag line he'd like to be associated with. Especially as childless women of a certain age tend to be very adept at trying to re plumb you - if you get his drift. I assured him I did.
Either way, this is the way we are going, I have the assurance of our local (and cheap) vet that he can do my and my sister's husband for a two-for-one deal. Providing they don't mind a few publicity shots.

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