What do you do all day?

This is what I have done today:

• Talked to Barbie on the phone
• Had a shower for three experience (it was a squash)
• Spotted the missing weetabix on the ceiling
• Mopped up the weetabix with an upside down sweeping motion
• Cleaned the mop stain from the ceiling
• Bought paint to paint the ceiling
• Swept up a fake eye, a tiny shoe and a nodding puppy
• Shouted Whoosh! Whoo hoo! Eight times at the bottom of a slide
• Sung Daisy Daisy three times
• Discussed at length and in some depth a cheese sandwich
• Pushed a dolly in a tiny pram bent double all the way to school
• Carried a dolly in a tiny pram all the way home from school.
• Made a caterpillar
• Made five cups of tea, drunk one of them. It was cold.
• Jumped up from behind a wall growling again and again for fifteen minutes
• Made: broccoli puree, root vegetable puree, goats cheese sauce, four fish cakes, ten gingerbread men, tomorrow's sandwiches, elegant supper for two (not yet served)
• Eaten: half a tin of cold baked beans
• Made a chamomile tea poultice
• Been to the shops for princess plasters
• Run 5 Km
• Gone back to the shops for forgotten Princess Pull Ups
• Run a toy monkey up and down the checkout making the appropriate sound
• Donated twice to the charity at the door of the supermarket out of guilt
• Did a rude sign to the old man in the parent and child spaces who had no child
• Explained to three year old why we should never do rude signs
• Asked three year old never to repeat rude sign
• Put three year old on the naughty mat
• Heard about possible dangers of sausages and banned them from the house.
• Defrosted sausages in the freezer and ate them to avoid waste
• Recycled
• Composted
• Switched off all the lights I left on this morning
• Turned the heating up, then felt guilty and turned it down again
• Wore my coat indoors
• Petted a cow
• Caught a hamster
• Wished for a cleaner and a nanny